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	exploring the world of tennis . . .

www.tennisontheline.org

Welcome to On The Line! This website explores the multi-faceted world of tennis. You will find a wealth of material ranging from light-hearted satire to motivational coaching tips, from eyebrow-raising quotes to controversial comment, from challenging quiz questions to droll humour. The site presents topics as wide-ranging as the introduction of electronic line-calling systems, match-rigging, Andre Agassi's legacy, the demise of serve-and-volley and the Flying Spaghetti Monster! The popular catalogue of quotes is expanding all the time and you will find well over a hundred practical pointers and tips to help you develop your own game. There are also interactive quizzes and games to help you while away a leisurely hour or two. Over time, new articles and material will be added. You are encouraged to voice your reaction to the articles you read in the Talking Points area. Recent talking points Making a big noise Michelle Larcher de Brito When 16-year-old Portuguese phenomenon Michelle Larcher de Brito is unleashed on the British tennis-watching public at the end of this month, there's a risk that the media attention devoted to her banshee-like grunts and shrieks could derail the impressive progress of this highly promising Nick Bolletieri protege. When Nick is happy with her serves, groundstrokes and volleys, it is essential that he prepares her for the media onslaught. Retractable roof, retractable agreement? Can the LTA be trusted to nurture the development of tennis in Britain these days? Having unveiled the new retractable roof over Centre Court, perhaps the AELTC should take retractability a step further and make funding conditional on the LTA achieving targets in all aspects of the game's development nationally. Murray joins clamour for malaria eradication I'm not in the habit of using these pages to cajole people into parting with their hard-earned cash in support of this or that deserving cause. I'm making an exception for Malaria No More, a non-profit, non-governmental organisation that has recently courted the support of Britain's Andy Murray amongst a host of other sports personalities. Is WADA in violation of the Fourth Amendment? The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) may not be strictly bound by the text of the Fourth Amendment but it should probably avoid blatantly flouting the spirit of its wisdom. Don't think of the colour blue! When competitors are pushing at the rules like never before, governing bodies of all sports must prove themselves equal to the task of ensuring fairness. This is not a time for irresolute and faint-hearted umpiring. Unfortunately, there has been evidence of frailty recently. Racket-smashing has often gone unpunished in recent months and many a blind eye has been turned to time-wasting antics. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental! The possibility of bringing extinct species back to life has been raised by research performed by Japanese scientists. What are the implications for mankind? Roger and Rafa explore the ethical dilemmas. No guarantees! Because players are allowed to accept undisclosed guarantees from tournament organisers and because the ranking system allows certain results to be discounted, the competitive structure of the professional game has been undermined. It has become open to abuse by unscrupulous elements. Tennis's newly formed Integrity Unit would do well to address the issue of appearance money as urgently as possible. The WTA hot potato Serena Williams It's probably reasonable to assume that tennis players hate losing. It's strange, then, that the WTA Tour is now on the cusp of a phenomenon whereby all the contenders for the recently vacated number one spot seem scared of winning that accolade owing to all the hullabaloo that goes with it. Can Wimbledon keep a lid on night sessions? Sporting insomniacs should not despair when they hear Ian Ritchie dismiss the notion of separately ticketed night matches. As sure as grass is green, they will come. And the All England Club will not lose any sleep over it. More . . .   Copyright notice You may reproduce material from this website, subject to the following limitations: 1. It must be reproduced without variation. 2. There must be a link back to this site. 3. There must be a copyright notice crediting the author. Website author: Dave Winship   Do you think we sent you a virus or a worm? We didn't, we're fully virus-proofed here. However recent viruses and worms have a nasty habit of pretending to be sent from email addresses that appear on the internet (like ours). I assure you it wasn't us - they're just spoofing our address.   Search this site (powered by FreeFind)

FEATURES   COACH'S CAVE Is your backhand out of sorts? Is your serve looking run-down and in need of a tonic? Enter Coach's Cave where you can click on questions previous explorers left behind! Take a torch and a racket!   LAUGHTER LABYRINTH Sidespin: Funny snips of conversation from Upper Gummtrey Tennis Club. Here's a short sample: Stuart: We're in a spot of bother here, Jez. Jez: Do you think they've cottoned on to our signals? Stuart: Oh yes. Jez: So they know exactly where I'm going to serve? Stuart: Oh yes. But it's worse than that. Jez: Worse? Stuart: They couldn't care less where you serve. Junk shots: A quirky and satirical view of the world of tennis. Off The Frame: It goes where no other tennis story has ever gone before - sideways. It's half story, half parody, and half something else entirely. One reviewer described it as "an enthralling juxtaposition of the sublime and the mundane", but we didn't understand a word of it, so we commissioned another reviewer, who said it was "definitely the product of an addled brain". Frankly, we won't be asking her to review anything again. We think it's just a sketchy story interspersed with a few corny gags, but you'll just have to make up your own minds! You'll find more in the same vein in the Laughter Labyrinth. We hope you find a way out.   FEATURED PLAYER Our current featured player is Juan Martin Del Potro. The 20-year-old came tantalisingly close to his first Grand Slam final at Roland Garros, losing a dramatic five-setter to Roger Federer in the semis. His game is just as suited to grass and hard courts as it is to the red clay of his upbringing. If he manages to hit the target with a healthy percentage of first serves, he can be expected to reach at least the last four at Wimbledon and the US Open this summer.   QUIZ Who is this? It's just one question in the latest quiz. It's not too difficult. We refuse to be impressed unless you score more than 7! If you've not visited here before, try out the past quizzes - numbers 1 to 57 are still all there.   HANGMAN Take the challenge - have a go at playing Tennis Hangman! Click here.

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